Vampires 101

This post has been inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun and Bones.

In a world gone crazy with blood suckers and man eaters, here is a gist of all things vampire.

  • Every generation gets their own vampire.
  • There was some Dracula guy, then Angel. Now Edward Cullen.
  • When you are around 20 years old: that is probably the only time the whole shindig would not look silly.
  • My friend wanted me to believe that his girlfriend looked like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe he wanted to feel like Angel. Enter David Boreanaz. Wow, I can hear women everywhere swooning.
  • If I even mention Edward Cullen or Robert Pattinson, I think I’ll get mobbed by the younger lot.
  • Women love vampires.
  • The blood sucking creatures of the night supposed to be romantic in some way. Even if they did kill people. Boy, these women are not the ones to complain.
  • They are unbelievably OLD. Never knew older men were such a turn-on.
  • There is always a young woman…new to town, very good by nature and different from the others. Also, she is in love with the vampire of the year.
  • Forbidden love – is there anything more poignant? Yes. Scores of women falling for these characters.
  • Buffy, the vampire slayer has no choice in men: it is either bad make up Angel or pathetic evil loser Xander.
  • In more modern times, Bella Swan has a choice: she could have just left the whole vampire posse and gone for the werewolf.
  • Where there are vampires, there will be werewolves.
  • They aren’t pretty either, but at the least they are human at times. (Side note: And Jacob is NOT strictly a werewolf, he is a shape shifter. If his ancestor had shifted into an elf, then he would be an elf.)
  • In the 1990s, these creatures were made to look vicious. Now they are just adorable.
  • When you revisit the vampires from your youth, you are bound to gag.
  • Advice to everyone: There is a reason they don’t make vampire flicks every 5 years. It is made for the kids who are between 16 and 20. So don’t watch it if you are not the target audience. Unintended viewing could lead to nausea, apnea, insomnia, heartburn, bad haircuts, mood swings and intolerance for humans.

2 thoughts on “Vampires 101

  1. to lavanaya deepak, you are not in touch with pop culture today I am sorry. it must REALLY suck to be you. You’re probably some 35+ or 40+ year old editor without a life. NO BOYFRIEND, HUSBAND. parents probably pity you. But hey karma sucks serious donkey balls for you. Oh well. Vampires are at the PULSE of pop culture and they have it by the bloody throat. Spike, (James Marsters) Angel, (David Borenaz)Edward Cullen, (Robert Pattinson) Xander, The guys from True Blood, Vampire diaries, and The Gates.

    • Ok, after your outburst, i checked my post….and i havent written anything bad about vampires. so maybe u shud read it first before commenting. also i am not an old editor…actually i am not an editor at all. having seen every single vampire flick out there, i guess I am afterall pitied by my parents but my loving husband of 4 years has no problems with it. sure u r obsessed with vampires, but how could you assume I am not?

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