It is bad enough that we don’t get to see all Hindi movies here, we also have to suffer through 2 hours of monopolistic Hindi film news every Saturday. So, it is with great eagerness we await news of Bollywood happenings every Saturday morning as here is what we get:
Shahrukh Khan wanting to ease the pain of India by giving a funny movie.
Aamir Khan not wanting to stir up strong emotions through his movie at such difficult times
Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham trying to think like girls so that they can act gay
That makes me think:
Why the hell are these guys advertising Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and then feeling bad for it
Did Aamir khan think we had nothing better to do with our lives than feel miserable about a young model who gets killed and her amnesia-ridden boy friend trying to kill everyone else
After seeing Dostana, I am sure Karan Johar is not gay. He is just interestingly closeted so people can have something to talk about. If he produced the movie, he surely would have seen it before it released. And which self respecting gay guy will tolerate dialogues like, ‘Hum bhi baby-log hi hain’, ‘Ladkiyon ki tarah socho…uske shoes and kapdon be bare mein baat karo’ and ‘Mein nahin jaanti tu meri bahu hain ya damaad, par Jug jug jiyo, phalo phoolon, khair chodo.’ Seriously. WHAT? Especially, after seeing Milk (Sean Penn in a movie about a gay activist), it just feels wrong.
Everything feels wrong. And the thing that feels criminal is:
We have to haul ourselves in our cars and drive an hour through crowded freeways, reach the theatre before hand, buy old food in cash at exorbitant rates and then see the bad movie in a theatre that made my Madurai theatre where I saw Sivaji look like a PVR.
I now, what you are thinking. But we can’t help it because blockbuster movies are so rare and we are so starved.
So, if you thought we had it good, just think of this: our version of Indian news is Sanju Baba telling us how it just wrong that terrorists have better guns than policemen.