As I hear about it, read and understand it, I know that this is not external knowledge. On the highly superficial level, I totally agree. Now it remains to be seen if inside it is as honest as it claims to be. Any theory for that matter could appeal to one when presented in a nutshell. But most of the things I have come across are quite likely to win my favour in the whole if I like the nutshell version. It is unnerving, it is like plunging into the darkest blue ocean which gets brighter as your get nearer. It is not an chosen field for people of my stereotype. But I have had it calling out to me for long enough. For years, almost 6 years now, I have been pushing it out of my face because of my exposure to the world. I believed that unless I first experience everything, I would not know what I am giving up.
Many times when I am low and out, when there seems to be no hope for tomorrow; it comes and presents itself to me, like a broom that promises to transport me to another world rather than clean up my cluttered mind. At all times that I see human despair and emotions gone awry, I want to climb on that magic carpet that I could brush everything under. I did not think it was the right kind of calling, it was escapism at best. Clinging to this thought, I have fought it for years.
Some days back though I realised that I have been so mortified by the fact that I may escape that I have subconsciously sealed the way for those thoughts to come to me. While dusting old books and removing them from my memory, I chanced upon The Monk who sold his ferrari. I do not remember too much…just as much of Jaya Row’s or Swami Sukhabodhananda’s lectures….small bits that got lodged into my brain while I slept in the hall of my parent’s house as they watched Aastha Channel. But I digress. The fact is that all these books, all the writing, all the scriptures are only a key. The place where all the knowledge is locked up is inside every cell of my body. (I would not say our body because I know a dog in England and a horse in Mexico read my blog. How are you today, Sir? Howdy, Amigo?) It is the DNA. And unless lab mice start reading and making the other animal population statistically insignificant, I shall only refer to myself.
But other than crappy humour, there is a bigger lesson here. I means everywhere, everyone, everything. Like thin clients feeding off a server, every living thing in the universe feeds off me. And though Beeblebrox would have agreed with this more than any of you are doing now, everything said and done, there is no I. No, I am not trying to get you to attend an HR workshop on team building!
Venky of IMS used to say “Don’t just read, internalise it”. I agree Sir. It is time to let go and embrace the spirit within. It is time to realise that escapism shall happen no more. It is time to see the calling in the face and shout back a big Yes. It is time…I know it is this time.