Eternal Childhood

Would it not be great to be a child forever? I mean …. to wonder and question and spend hours in the mud, doing nothing! It would be wonderful to go back to being a child with no worries, no responsibilities and ….wait! What am I saying? I am sorry, I kinda forgot homework. Let me start over.
It is great to be a child again, but not so much over here in India. Now you may think I am going to tell you about the education standards in this country and how bad it is…no, that’s a job for my corporate blog.
The beauty of childhood is marred by one simple thing…actually an FMCG product – Kellogg’s Flakes. The story goes like this:

Child does not drink milk
Mother is unhappy
Mother adds sugary supplements to milk
Child is unhappy
Mother gives piping hot milk
Mother is happy
Child sees cream form on top
Child is unhappy
Kellogg’s introduces Cornflakes in India
Child is happy
It costs a fortune
Mother is unhappy
Mohun’s shows off their price point
Mother is happy
Mohun’s are small flakes which are always broken and not crisp
Child is unhappy
Soggy flakes in hot milk means cooked breakfast
Mother is happy
It tastes like kheer
Child is unhappy
Kellogg’s says, “Use cold milk”
Mother is unhappy
Frosties, Fruit loops, Chocos, Almond, Banana, Strawberry, Mango – choices abound
Child is happy
Small pack of all finishes in one day
Mother is unhappy
Finally, mother accepts cold milk
Child is happy
More variants, more price
Mother is unhappy
Chocos have free gifts with every pack
Child is happy
Chocos have different free gifts every time
Mother is unhappy
Kellogg’s introduces ‘Chocos Smacks’
Child is happy
Child gets up early to have more milk
Mother is happy
Then Kellogg’s introduces ‘Choco Toffee’
Child is happy
There are not free gifts here
Mother is happy
Child eats Chocos Toffee
Child swears never to have milk again
Mother is unhappy
Child has no bones

A note to Kellogg’s: Please issue a statutory warning on Kellogg’s Chocos Toffee – “Only for adults with a mature sense of cultivated taste that comes with having tasted beer, wine, champagne and whisky.” What’s next in line guys? Chocos Rum?

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