What to wear?

If you are a man who has a woman in his life, you would be badgered by this question everyday. As a woman, I am haunted by his question very often. I hate shopping (Yeah, that’s right) and so even though I have atleast 4 people who will happily come to shop with me, I cannot generate similar enthusiasm. So when I do get the courage and encouragement (by way of being seen in the same cargos for 3 weeks continuously), I step out to buy me some clothes. Now going to a mall to buy clothes is tricky as there are models walking around parading their sense of fashion. Even a poor soul like me cannot resist the temptation of thinking how I would look in them. But what my mind does not understand even after being embarrassed time and again is that there is no fashion that can fit into the life of a extra-tall, short-hair, wart-faced, wheat coloured woman like me.

Those women in the cute skirts and funky tees are short, perfect for a small or extra small size and don’t have problems of choice in life. All the clothes are for them, all the shoes are for them. Sleeves of ready made blazers don’t even reach my elbow and skirts are always too short. If you have a broad shoulder, you should be a man. And if you have legs as long as Abhishek Bachchan, then why look in the women’s section for cargos. No, thou shalt not have any element of fashion suitable to you. I hate tiny women. They are everywhere: driving cars with cushions propping them, scaling mountains with the ease of being under 50 kgs and making business presentation looking all small and patronisable.

I was known for a long time as Lambu Lavanya. Yes, tall and slim is nice, but tall and ‘getting really plump’ is a mini-giant. The days of the stick Lavanya are gone. Now my cheeks are cramming up my eyes and so it appears that I have become more jovial. Sigh! Plus Size Clothing, here I come.

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